Getting your letter was a shock — and oddly, a relief. I laughed harder than I had in months. Yes, we were married for seven years, but calling you a “good man”? That’s hilarious.
I binge-watch TV to escape your constant complaining. It never worked, but at least I tried. Oh, and your new haircut? I bit my tongue, but you looked like a teenage girl.
Then there was that dinner you made — the one with pork? I haven’t eaten pork in seven years. Maybe you mixed me up with my sister?
And those new silk boxers with the price tag still on? Funny, my sister borrowed fifty bucks that morning. Coincidence? I doubt it…