My relationship with my mother-in-law, Linda, started off warm, even affectionate. But everything changed after my husband and I chose to have a child through surrogacy. Though polite on the surface, Linda gradually began sidelining me, making comments that praised our surrogate, Cheryl, as the “real mother.” From orchestrating moments at our gender reveal to framing hospital photos around Cheryl, she made it clear she didn’t see me as my daughter’s mom.
Things escalated when she began publicly referring to Cheryl and my husband as a parental “pair,” completely ignoring me. Cheryl, uncomfortable and confused, even told me Linda had been sending her messages suggesting they were raising the baby together. Despite my efforts to stay respectful and composed, I could feel myself disappearing from my own story — pushed aside in favor of a narrative Linda was crafting on her own.
The breaking point came during my daughter Christina’s first birthday. Linda arrived late, handed me a gift bag, and insisted I open it in front of everyone. Inside was a custom illustration — one showing Cheryl holding my daughter, with my husband beside her. I wasn’t in the picture at all. When questioned, Linda shrugged and called me “the babysitter” in my own child’s life. I calmly handed the picture back and told her to leave the party. She refused, until my husband stepped in and supported me.
Though I received critical messages from extended family afterward, I stood by my choice. That day, I didn’t just protect a birthday — I protected my place as a mother. My husband’s words stayed with me: “You didn’t ruin anything. You protected our family.” And for that, I have no regrets.